You can still count on a few things in life, and one is that spring will eventually come, regardless of what you might have seen out your window on the official day of Spring. Spring signals new growth, optimism, and fresh starts in nature and in you.

You are a physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental being and holism considers all aspects as an integrated whole. You can choose to restore and maintain balance in each and all of your diverse systems and rediscover the joy of living. While starting a holistic approach to life can begin in any season, what better time of year than during the magic of spring? Are you ready to start now?

Physically:
Spring-cleaning must be a natural high for the Feng Shui practitioner as they sweep through houses, lifting the energy with each move they make. You too can clean out those cupboards, give away clothes that haven’t been worn for over a year, work on that annoying patio table that never sits right, and how about the mounting clutter in the garage? Enormous life change can come from evaluating what is and is not important to keep in your home. Just think how much your kids will appreciate it after you’ve checked out. In the case of entering into a major life change, like blended families, choose wisely what you keep and what you add to the garage sale. No I don’t mean a child or two. I am referring to the “stuff” that one can’t live without. Be discerning and discuss it with everyone involved. Don’t make decisions for others. Be open, respectful and listen, as this could be a challenging experience for many involved.

After the house is in order, consider looking at the vehicle that houses your being. It’s been known for eons that a rest from food consumption can bring tremendous benefit to the body. Springtime can be the impetus to give the digestive track a brief respite. If you see this as too drastic, then consider a liver or gallbladder cleanse. The option of a change of diet to enhance your overall level of functioning just may be the cat’s meow for you at this time, but always check with the doc before you make radical decisions.

Mentally:
Accelerate your positive life change through your willingness to examine the core beliefs that are the foundation of your behavior. Don’t wait for spring to transform polluted thought patterns. Negative self-talk can be destructive.

For example, a client suffering from the lack of abundance syndrome discovered the connection between her mother’s affluent boyfriend and her inability to be successful, financially or otherwise. Her memories of him as a young child were that he was mean, miserable, stingy, untruthful, manipulative and ugly. “If this is what it’s like to be abundant and successful, I don’t want it.” The cleansing of this core belief has significantly influenced her bank account. Is your beau someone who has a prosperity or scarcity belief system? The level of vibrancy in your relationship could be measured by this one belief alone. Ideally, you both want to be on the same page with regard to core beliefs, or else realize this could be a red flag. Stop and take on a Barbara Walters identity. Be courageous and ask probing questions that will convey the answers that will bring you peace of mind. Life change comes from participating and taking risks. It starts with training your mind to know who’s in charge.

Emotionally:
A healthy dose of intention to become emotionally available to yourself as well as to others will liven up the garden of your life just as daffodils bring a smile to your face. Be committed to recognize, honor and communicate your feelings. Does separation bring you the happiness you yearn for each day? Lift up the manhole cover of your life, drudge up those buried feelings and tell the truth about them once and for all. Stop denying they are there.

You can begin to move the energy by putting your thoughts on paper. Then take a quantum leap and be willing to once again be brave, and open your heart. Share who you are with the woman in your life. A woman wants to be with a man who is emotionally available, or at least, engaging in the learning curve. The universe will acknowledge your efforts to be real and offer support in ways you wouldn’t even dream possible.

Spiritually:
The breath is the connection to life. It is amazing to experience the peace of mind the ritual of breathing meditation can provide the sincere seeker. Inhale and exhale deeply, slowly—without forcing it, but relaxing with each cycle. Like the ebb and flow of the tide, the breath flows in and out naturally. This initial stage of meditation brings calm and peace of mind. The mind is busy racing, determined to distract with its subtle ways, but just acknowledge it and stay seated for at least 20 minutes morning and night. This brief time will bring more joy and contentment than anything in the outer world. Be brave enough to ask yourself “Who am I?” and the answers will come. They will determine the quality of life and open up new meaning to your 24-hour day. Regular quiet time appointments with yourself will slowly begin to generate an energy within you that will bring you great peace. Chances are good the significant other in your life will also benefit from the changes you’ve made. The dating game may narrow you down to the soul mate you’ve anticipated, but never subconsciously allowed to show up. Funny how it works.

So, if you are truly interested in life change, you’ll be receptive and embrace attitude change through a more holistic approach to life. It’s all such a fascinating adventure and you are an important part of it, this spring and all the days of your life.

There is a reason why I live in the mountains–less people, less cars, more heart connections and the four seasons.  Every winter for the last twelve years, we have had snow in Sun Valley, Idaho.Some years more than others.  Like the year we had to shovel a maze in the yard for our dog, Max, to visit the trees.  It was great fun!  A skiers delight as well as retail shop owners, ski lift operators and snow removal businesses.  The winter of 2010 is one that will go down in my history book because we had no snow for the holidays.  In fact, it was even warm.  “Think Snow” bumper stickers were prevalent in store window, snow poles placed at the driveway edge, affirmations declaring the joy of our abundance of snow, prayers, positive thoughts and you name it, it was done.  The results?  No snow…until it did.   it wasn’t until about the third week of January that Mother Nature opened up the sky and dropped continuous snowfalls on our little valley for days in a row.  Grumbling faces have turned to smiles, visitors are taking their kids to the sledding hills and ski tickets are being sold in excess.

The point of my story is that Life happens – no matter how the moments of our life may not be fitting our picture, Life still always wins.  So why resist it?  Embrace the now – whatever Life is presenting and things will generally work out.  They always do.

I invite your comments to my first blog.  It feels good to share again through writing.  This blog is long overdue (in my records only) after I took a lengthy hiatus from writing Life Change Lessons for more than five years.  Enjoy the moments of your life – just as they are!

A new year: how thrilling it can be! Even though we simply turn the calendar sheet from one day and month to the next, there are incredible opportunities to embrace during this momentous time. A new year can be a turning point, the motivating factor for personal transformation, or it can be “just another day.” You get to exercise your free will and determine what January 1st is going to mean to you. Let’s explore your choices.

Here are a few scenarios from the “just another day” option:

1. It’s been over ten years now that your son has been estranged from his father. You are thinking that neither one of them is going to change, nor will you be able to influence resolution, so you might as well continue to distance yourself from your son also. After all, your life is with your husband and that is where your future lies.
2. Being retired has made you feel lonely, old and without purpose. Just look at those wrinkles on your face and the continuous battle of the bulge. The golden years are looking rather tarnished and downright depressing.
3. Senior dating is really getting to be old hat. You want a relationship that can lead to marriage and you want it now. You’re weary of the small talk and putting your best foot forward. It’s all too much effort.

As we examine the above feelings, let’s associate the attitudes and beliefs along with the choices that accept this established way of doing things. Here are a few:

• Nothing is going to change anyhow.
• I am ineffective in making a difference in the quality of my life.
• Don’t make waves.
• Ignore your feelings and they’ll just go away.
• It’s important to be right.
• I deserve to be treated better.
• The wrong man is always showing up at my door.

We could go on, but you get the idea. Each of the above statements describes perceived powerlessness and a commitment to remain stuck in past behaviors.

In the first example, what happened that was so awful to act as a wedge between your son and your husband? What could be so horrible that would cause two grown adults, father and son, to isolate themselves from each other? Healing comes from communication, which fosters understanding. The next natural step is compassion, which is ultimately love. It must start with the willingness and desire to be real and forgive people for their humanness. People act out of meanness and disrespect because they are ignorant. They’ve never been exposed to or learned the skills of knowing the importance of kindness and a positive attitude. Generations perpetuate the criticism and judgment. Be the one to stamp it out. Speak from your heart and have a strong intention to restore harmony in your family.

All events are neutral. Not some, but all. It’s what we make of them that brings us pain or pleasure or gives them power in our lives at all. To heal this situation, a father could say, “Son, I’m sorry. I acted foolishly. It’s more important for me to be your friend than judge your behavior. Let’s clean the slate.” A son could say, “Dad, I’ve wanted your approval all my life, and I was so hurt by your comments that I protected myself by turning away from you. I’m done with this old behavior. I don’t need to be right anymore.” What matters in the end is that we learned to let go.

Example two can be resolved by taking a fresh view of life. Rise each morning, look into the mirror and see your bathroom lit up by the glow from your inner beauty. You can choose to think, “Today will be the best day of my life. I have 24 hours to adventure and express my free will. How can I be of service? Who or what is on my gratitude list today? To whom do I want to communicate my love during these glorious moments?” Forget the numbers and focus on the moments. Each one is precious. If you’re obsessed about the image that is reflected to you in the mirror, do what you can about it and learn to love the rest. Resist and it will persist. Focus on the many blessings in your day and be grateful for your life, taking nothing for granted any longer. As Gandhi said, “be the change you want to see in the world.”

The third scenario also encourages change. It appears to be scary to commit to change, but that may be exactly what’s needed for you to draw the man you see yourself with to your door. Be willing to look at the similarities in the men you date and your father. This is normally a huge clue. Is it time to forgive your father for the lack of involvement in your childhood? Staying stuck in old views is one indication that you’re living in fear and doubt. Fear that you’ll never be loved. Doubt that you’ll ever find your Prince Charming. Taking a new perspective on life, such as being open to change, is all about opening up to love and trust. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world, and you are the one in charge.

Choosing to embrace change, internally or externally and head in new directions this new year is the only real option if you want to be happy, experience health, be a positive role model to the younger generation in your family, and be an inspiration to everyone your encounter. What a powerful responsibility we each have!

You might be thinking that this is too good to be true and wonder how the simple act of embracing a positive viewpoint could change your entire life. The fact is, you can’t change your behavior until you change your beliefs. Let’s look at some beliefs that can move you far beyond the old way of doing things:

• I’d rather be happy than right.
• Who I am makes a difference.
• It’s important to my well-being to recognize and express my feelings.
• Present moments are influenced by how I perceive the past and future.
• Only love prevails.

A prescription for a shining and outrageously happy new year is really simple, and it’s all up to you. Below are ten tips for thriving in 2005:

1. Examine your belief system. Keep what works and toss what doesn’t.
2. Create an attitude of gratitude. Establish a gratitude journal and make daily entries.
3. Are you holding onto regret and remorse from your past? If so, why?
4. Does the future activate fear and worry? If so, why?
5. Be relentlessly honest in your communications.
6. Free yourself from the desire to judge.
7. Be aware of the power of your thoughts and your ability to choose the positive over the negative.
8. Trust the process.
9. Surround yourself with fun, upbeat, genuine and loving friends.
10. Be willing to be open up and learn something new every day.

Remember that change starts with your willingness to improve and enhance your lifestyle. If your life is terrific and satisfying, that’s great. You can choose to expand by removing any lingering limitations and have it be greater still. If your days are not so rosy and cheerful, that’s great too. Remember it’s all neutral and it’s all about attitude. Acknowledging that you are not as happy as you want to be is a first step towards change. Undaunted determination will be the catalyst for joy-filled moments and meaningful relationships. Turn the searchlight inward and allow the beacon to guide your way as you embrace the new year, one step at a time.

So you’ve made your will. You know who is to receive the platinum bordered china, the grandfather clock from Germany, the pair of diamond-studded earrings, and your most treasured Charlie Brown cartoon scrapbook. You’ve gone even further to make certain your wishes will be carried out with regard to a life support treatment. You’ve given careful thought that there is no misinterpretation. You feel confident about those who have been assigned to this information. Specifications have been made about pain medication and how you should receive it. You have demonstrated your courage by actually discussing your passing with your family, and they are clear about your requests. Details have been completely and thoroughly administered. Nothing has been left out that you can think of.

But what is it that you are really leaving behind?

For example, a young man, his parents’ only child, was killed in an accident at the age of 21. 600 people attended his memorial service. Folks came from many distant places to pay tribute to him and his family. Although he was young, he obviously made his mark.

In a second example, a crowd of 2,000 paid tribute to a man who obviously influenced many lives. How did he influence them? By his attitude. Paraphrased in the book, Personal Transformation by Kiril Sokoloff, below are the qualities exemplified by this man and eulogized at his funeral:

• He was an unconditional and true friend.
• He demonstrated joy at his friends’ success.
• He was a true gentleman.
• He had impeccable manners.
• He treated women with respect and kindness.
• He never criticized anyone.
• He faced his problems with unflinching courage.
• He never spoke a single word against a friend who disappointed him.
• He showed courage in the face of adversity.
• He was loyal to his friends.

Funerals can either be an eye-opener and a wake-up call, or another opportunity to deny life and resist the inevitable. Memorials can be occasions to evaluate and be introspective.

What about your moral legacy? What heritage will you leave behind for your family, friends, associates, acquaintances, and those you may have never met? What will your grandchildren learn about life from your example? What rituals do you treasure that will be perpetuated by your loved ones—when performed they can think of only you? What are the chances that you touched someone’s life that you never even knew because you smiled at him/her in a way that warmed his/her heart? Were you an inspiration or a dark cloud to another soul?

His holiness The Dalai Lama says, “Society change is possible through individual change. So just as when you see ripples increasing when you throw a stone into a pond, in the same manner, we can spread compassion. Make small contributions. It makes a difference.” You do influence, one way or another.

Below is a list of reflective questions meant to elicit reflective answers, if you give yourself time to engage in them:

1. What will it take for you to live your life so the minister at your funeral doesn’t have to lie?
2. What will it take to motivate you to start today by spending your 24/7 loving unconditionally?
3. Is the relationship with your children estranged? What needs to be mended?
4. Have you forgiven yourself for what you did or didn’t do?
5. Are you offering service to your community?
6. Are you consistently choosing positive rather than negative thoughts?
7. Do you enjoy peace of mind?
8. Have you adopted your gratitude attitude yet?
9. Do you take nothing for granted?
10. Are you in harmony with life?

Are you the person your dog thinks you are? Not everyone will choose to write a book, build a statue or donate a park as a symbol of love. The legacy you leave to your family, friends, and the planet is your own unique expression. It will heal like nothing else can, and that is the only gift you can really leave behind.

You are invited to try an experiment right now—this very moment. (Preferably it is nighttime while you’re reading this.) Take a candle and a match with you as you walk into a room that is pitch dark. Stand there for a moment, take a few deeps breaths, now light your candle with the match and notice what happens. You will no doubt observe that the light of the candle has dispelled the darkness. You can see pictures on the wall that were only there in memory before. Electrical outlets even become visual. The details of objects are obvious. It is absolutely amazing to witness what a difference the light from just one candle brings to a dark room.

To dispel means to disperse or drive away. For the purpose of this article, darkness is symbolic of greed, jealousy, hatred, self-pity, fear, anger, guilt, remorse, self-loathing, ignorance, conflict, distrust, worry, prejudice, depression, war, and rage. Light is representative of generosity, harmony, kindness, gratitude, service, compassion, wisdom, calmness, truth, joy, gentleness, support and love. (It’s interesting that angelic precedes anger in the thesaurus.)

So, do you know people who live in the dark? Who are the dark? They’ll do anything to be right. They carry rage within them that seeps out at times and at others blares forth like thunder. How about those folks who blame life on the fact that nothing good happens to them and it’s always somebody else’s fault? They become so victimized that the very notion of unconditional love is foreign to them. Then we have an element of the population who manifest their suffering through physical ailments—constant body aches, back pain, sore throat, and indigestion to name a few. Their depression and remorse is buried so deeply that the darkness of this energy prevents the precise functioning of their organs to operate optimally and disease and illness manifests. Unfortunately, a portion of our youth have absorbed many dysfunctional belief systems of the adult population as well as society, and it shows up in statistics that indicate the highest rate of methamphetamine use was among the 18-25 year age group. During 1999, 4.3% (9.4 million people) of the U.S. population reported trying methamphetamine at least once in their lifetime. Unfortunately many of our little ones haven’t escaped the darkness either, being products of parents who live unfulfilled lives and suffer in mediocrity. They’ve learned to fear instead of express their natural tendency to be the light.

Here’s another opportunity for you. Now that you’ve read the prior paragraph symbolizing the darkness, tune in to your body and notice how it feels. Review the list of dark words: how do all of them feel in your body when you simply read them? Does what you’re feeling right now motivate you to call your local homeless or pet shelter and offer your services for an afternoon? Does it inspire you to help out at the holiday program planned at your granddaughter’s school? Are you stimulated to make a special meal as a surprise dinner for your son and his family? Do you feel light? Energetic? How about enthusiastic and zestful for life? If the answer is simply “no,” it is understandable.

We may experience all of the above dark energy from time to time, but when we are the light, the candle that illuminates a room, we have chosen to move through the negative beliefs and feelings that are trying to hold us prisoner. When we are the light we know we are a conduit and we allow the love and joy of our true nature to channel through us, in lieu of the dark thoughts. They’re just thoughts! Again, they’re just thoughts. When we are the light we choose trust and we know that the circumstances of life will grab us unless we override the dark energy and exhibit our authentic power. When we are the light we are called upon to participate in another’s life—sometimes very unexpected and under unusual conditions—to remind that person who forgot they are also the light. When we are the light we recognize that the same electricity feeds the variety of colored bulbs, not just the white ones, on a strand of lights. When we are the light, we are the flow of the river, surrendering our ego to the magic and perfection of the current. When we are the light, we honor ourself for letting go of the past, trusting the future will unfold flawlessly and feeling the joy of the present moment. When we are the light, we radiate unconditional love for ourself as well as others, demonstrating compassion and kindness to all living beings. Now feel what it would feel like to be the light. Review the words representing the light. How does it feel in comparison to the dark?

You get the idea. So go ahead and be the light that dispels the darkness—I dare you. Make a difference this holiday season. You just might get used to it and carry it throughout each day of the new year.