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Mid-life... Changes That Hurt or Heal
Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop
of ice cream fall from the cone.
-Jim Fiebig
Unlike the universally shared disappointment of dropping our ice
cream at any age, few of us look or feel the same at fifty that
we did at five or fourteen. Just as the body shows wear and tear
with time, the emotional aspect of life changes as we age. The emotions
of midlife have a broad range, from anxiety and fear of the future,
to courage, hope and a sense of freedom never before experienced.
Change can bring stress, depression, helplessness, loneliness, even
a loss of hope, or change can heal.
Youth allows us to leap into life and explore everything from
first words and steps to early and unexamined beliefs, and the choices
we make resulting from them. With little thought, the young bite
into life, taste each morsel, and spit out the parts they do not
like, ever charging authentically toward the future. A rare few
of us hold onto that early enthusiasm for life, and virtually no
one avoids the fact that life changes. Often, as we experience life
as pain and glory, have children of our own, or commit our lives
to a cause or a job, that zest gives way to caution with frequent
heaping doses of compromise as we seek to unearth our niche in the
world. In short, we settle.
Just as if an alarm went off, midlife can bring us up short and
insist we do an overview of our lives. We may question where we
have been, and how we got there, where we are going, and why. Our
beliefs may fall under our own scrutiny; our values might shift,
and what we wish life had become, may pop to the fore. We discover
that facing change can either hurt or heal. Your answers may bring
you into resistance. Move through it and embrace your findings.
Whether with grim tenacity or gleeful exuberance, the way we approach
the changes of midlife is entirely up to us as individuals. Harsh
but true, it is up to each of us to rediscover new hope, or find
fresh outlooks filled with optimism and a zeal for life where we
may have thought there was none. It is up to us to discover an inner
willingness to stay alive to the possibilities the future can bring.
No one can give it to us. It is a hurdle over which each of us must
(and can) leap.
Here are a few things that might help jolt you out of a midlife
crisis and help you to rediscover the bounty of gold you have within.
Make a list of all the things you have wanted to do in life but
for whatever reason, you have never done. Be brave and ask for the
reasons. Then resolve to try them one by one, taking charge of your
thoughts and knowing through your free will, you get to choose.
Make the choices that further your dreams and potential. Many great
artists and authors never discovered their talents until their middle
years. Midlife can be a good time to rediscover an earlier passion
and take it on, if even in baby steps to kick start your inner strengths.
Scrutinize the inner workings of your life and determine to know
yourself, your beliefs, your strengths, and your weaknesses in ways
you never have before. Be willing to challenge beliefs that beg
for expansion!
Use this time to face the fears you have not been willing to face.
Realize that your fears can be strong motivators for positive changes
of all types.
Seek out places where your talents could benefit others and volunteer.
There is nothing as rewarding as sharing with others what you have
learned, and there is no better way to feel reinforced that your
life has purpose,
Restore balance in your life where necessary. Remember, you are
more than just your body, more than your job, and more than your
role as a wife or parent. You have a body, mind, feelings and a
spirit. Now is the time to give each aspect of your life the attention
it deserves.
Besides the impact it has on your experience of today, how you
face the challenges of your midlife crisis will determine your future.
The bottom line midlife can be an exciting journey toward golden
years or a belabored trek headed toward what would appear to be
mere brass. You can insure a golden future by tapping into your
reservoirs of gold today. Grab hold of change and claim it as your
own. Accept the challenges and the changes with enthusiasm. This
is your life! |
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