|
|
Memories Are So Beautiful and Yet...
Do you remember the tune that goes on to say "what’s
too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget"?
The problem is we don’t forget. Instead, we often repress
or deny painful memories, hanging onto them, allowing them to haunt
our present, until we choose not to view them as painful any longer
and to let them go.
Memories are a reminder of times gone by, our personal history
and our youth. The bad scenes often tend to fade, leaving only the
residual effects that we allow or hang onto, but the good things
remain and those memories are often better than when they happened!
This is no doubt how the "big fish" tales get started,
and is a sure testament to "things getting better as they
age."
Memories of all types, the good and the bad, serve to move us
forward in life, to help us evolve to our highest potential.
The lessons learned from "bad" experiences serve as
the push needed to change our lives for the better. The exceptional
occurrences propel us in our mission to discover even more that
is good about life. Good experiences help us establish good
patterns, and ideally, bad experiences do the same. It’s
a beautiful system and a wonderful life when it is allowed to flow,
but when life isn’t flowing smoothly for us, there is a good
chance there is a stuck memory causing the problem.
To which memories do you cling? When you think of the past,
what leaps out and shouts the loudest? Have you released the past
to make space for a full and complete present? There is no
time like the present, the beginning of a new year, to clean out
your personal closet of old, sabotaging memories and beliefs, and
to embrace those that you can put to positive use in the new year.
If you are interested in a new you and new attitude for this new
year, you can begin the process of airing out the dusky recesses
of your memory-laden life by taking the following steps to cleanse
yourself of the "old" and to make room for the "new"
you that is about to burst forward in 2005.
- The first step in change is to choose to change. Choose
to remember what you think you chose to forget. Choose right
now to be the best that you can be!
- Take this memory test: ask yourself who you harbor
old grudges toward, who still "trips your trigger"
and causes you to fire up in anger. What old memory continues
to haunt you?
- Look at each person or situation that plagues you and
keeps you from experiencing the peace you desire and deserve.
A stuck negative memory will keep you from perfect peace until
you release it. That’s why we can’t shake them: they
pop up just to get our attention and to remind us that there is
trouble in our piece of paradise! The objective is to reach a
point of neutrality about the circumstance—to forgive it,
and to set it aside fully disarmed. No more suffering for
you, and no more trying to hold someone else accountable for your
past or your present. Let it go and leave room for
positive experiences to flow in and fill that void.
- As you scan your memories of things not forgotten, allow
yourself to embrace the feelings you might have, whether feelings
of anger, fear, shame, or whatever. Fully feel the feeling.
Look at it closely. In what way is this disharmony serving
you today? Do you really feel the way you felt back then?
Not likely! Ask yourself if you are ready to release it from your
life.
- Consider what steps you might take to find resolution.
Sometimes it isn’t possible to contact people from our past.
Perhaps we’ve long since lost touch; they may have passed
on, or it would cause more trouble than healing if we did contact
them.
Write a letter, even if you never intend to mail it, to the individual
or group with whom you still hold a grudge. Allow yourself
to engage completely in all of your feelings around the circumstances
without judgment of them or of you. Once written, keep it
for several days or weeks, reading it whenever you have the chance.
Engaging in this process will gradually begin to release the emotion
"stuck" in the scenario, rendering it neutral to you.
You can see it for what it is more clearly.
If you are comfortable enough with your feelings and want to share
them with the person from your past, call them—but not until
you’ve had the chance to arrive at an understanding about
what you actually do feel. In order to communicate your feelings
effectively, and to forgive the circumstance, you must be neutral
about it. Calling someone from the past to attempt to
make him or her wrong, or to rehash old occurrences, will only compound
the trouble. Call only if you’d like to let it go and
let "bygones be bygones."
Talk with someone who is already neutral about the individual
or circumstance—a close friend, church pastor, or someone
else you trust that is in no way involved with the past. Openly
and honestly talking about your feelings can neutralize most negative
feelings, given enough time.
Perhaps the most important step you can take to clear your past
is to accept your feelings as your own. You’ve heard
this before, but it’s true: emotional healing
comes much more quickly to those who can accept that what they are
feeling is the result of their own perception of the individual
or circumstance. Own those feelings and understand
they are coming from your perceptions—not necessarily fact
or truth. Our perceptions are the result of beliefs we have
carried throughout our lives that may or may not serve us today.
When we view our memories, they often trigger old and outdated beliefs.
Be receptive to letting those old beliefs go and accepting new,
more self-empowering beliefs in their place.
This new year is another opportunity for each of us to change and
grow. Now is the best time to enjoy every minute of your life.
Don’t let memories hold you hostage! You are here right
now and your purpose in being here is to find the happiness and peace
that belongs to you.
Choose to jump right into the deep end of life. Embrace
change and get ready to charge into 2005 with a new attitude! |
|
|
