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Does The Real You Stand Up?
Feel Safe Sharing Your Authentic Self in Your Relationship
If you believe you’ve found
your soul mate, but still feel unfulfilled, chances are that you
aren’t confident enough to share your authentic self in the
relationship. And if you want to be deeply loved and cultivate closeness,
you must learn to trust your instincts. This is the only path to
the level of trusting in a relationship that will allow you to cultivate
the best in each other and enjoy fulfilling intimate time with your
partner. Let go of the low self-esteem that’s holding you
back and fall absolutely in love!
We all want to be loved for who
we are. But how can we get that if low self-esteem makes us uncomfortable
being who we are? To find fulfillment and cultivate closeness with
your soul mate, you must feel safe to share your authentic self
in the relationship. In other words, the relationship must be built
on trust.
How does one become trusting in
a relationship? First, you must build beliefs and practices that
allow you to trust yourself. This attitude adjustment is accomplished
by learning to trust your instincts and feelings. If a situation
happens in your relationship that makes you feel uncomfortable (and
it most likely will), recognize it! Then take the steps to communicate
this to your partner.
If this is difficult for you, ask
yourself why. Perhaps you were never allowed to express your true
feelings as a child and, even though you want to be deeply loved,
you are carrying beliefs such as "Nothing I say is important,"
or "My feelings don’t count for anything." On
a separate note, perhaps your current partner isn’t there
for you emotionally and doesn’t take the time to listen. This
certainly would create some insecurity in the relationship. It is
important to look at it from all angles with the reminder that your
feelings are your guide and your friend.
Perhaps you worry about whether
your partner will accept you for who you are. Again, look into the
past to see if there are any clues. And when you feel ready, communicate
this to your partner in a loving way. The only way to feel safe
and confident is to start feeling safe and confident in the little
ways. In other words, one must become vulnerable and test the trustworthiness
of the partner in order to cultivate feelings of security. If you
want to be deeply loved, you must trust your instincts and share
your authentic self. It can be an amazing process and once it begins,
it grows and grows gloriously as you cultivate the best in each
other. When one of the participants in the relationship opens up,
the other usually does, and vice versa. The comfort level rises
to new and wonderful heights and enhances your intimate time with
your partner.
- Trust your instincts. To learn more about your inner guides
and trusting yourself, give yourself the gift of our 21-Day
Course.
What you learn will support you in all life’s relationships.
- Take time with your partner. Really get to know him or her.
Ask questions. Agree to do something that you wouldn’t usually
do. Let him or her know that you are trustworthy.
- Cultivate each other. Go camping, get out in nature, or volunteer
together at a place of your choice. Again, experiences that take
you and your mate out of your element will allow you to see other
sides of each other.
Would you like to explore more powerful emotions that affect your
life? Check out The Attitude Doc's book Attitudes,
Beliefs and Choices.
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