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Obliterate Obstacles to Thrive in 2005
As the year starts to unfold, and the New Year's resolutions list
has been misplaced, maybe it's time to honestly examine what obstacles
might be in the path of a quality of life you yearn to embrace.
Does the relationship with your son-in-law need healing? What might
be the barrier to shedding those 30 pounds your doctor has advised
you to lose to lower your blood pressure? How about that entrepreneurial
idea that keeps nagging you? Is there an enormous incompletion with
the woman you dated for two years? Does the hurt from her betrayal
of that one night stand gnaw at you to forgive, but you just won’t?
Obstacles can also apply to short-term goals, such as why the
fax machine doesn’t work when you’ve followed all the
instructions and you’re growing more angry by the minute,
why none of your friends are available to accompany you on a travel
venture and now you won’t be going, or wanting to get through
a contract that is important to read thoroughly, but not understanding
it.
As defined by this computer's dictionary, an obstacle is somebody
or something that hinders or prevents progress. There is something
that prevents us from confronting our son-in-law with our feelings,
disciplining ourself to make healthy food choices, being willing
to make mistakes as we learn, and taking the risks necessary to
fulfill a passion. This "something" or "somebody"
acts like a splinter in our finger. We may avoid it for a while,
until it starts to fester, redden, and eventually becomes incredibly
irritating. It doesn’t go away until it’s addressed
and removed.
Until you address and remove the obstacle, the barrier, the obstruction
to any meaningful goal or form of progress, it will become the pink
elephant in the room that nobody acknowledges. Whether career choices
or daily challenges, obstacles can run our lives as we turn over
our power to them in lieu of taking the time to examine and evaluate
the entire situation.
Scenario #1:
The relationship with a son-in-law (or any family member as far as
that goes) lacks harmony and friendship. It’s something that
he said a long time ago along that disturbed you and you’re
not ready to forgive and forget, so you simply avoid and put off family
gatherings when you know he’ll be attending.
Lesson: One sign of an obstacle in your path
is avoidance and procrastination. It is as blatant as a red flag
if you are honest enough with your self to recognize it. It doesn’t
disappear just because you want it to. There is a gift here and
something to learn about yourself in this exact situation.
Solution: Pay attention. Get in touch with your
true feelings and be willing to communicate your truth. What are
you really feeling as a result of what he said? Insulted, hurt,
invalidated, neglected? Confrontation is healthy when done from
intention to learn and heal. Nobody can invalidate your feelings.
This is one way to dismantle that barrier and take back your power.
Obstacles can be removed when you are willing to get out the magnifying
glass and take an honest look inward at yourself.
Scenario #2:
You’ve been told it is imperative to your health that you lose
weight, but you have no discipline. You make attempts from time to
time, but never achieve the high sign from the doc. You’d love
to, if only... Lesson: Anytime you
think your problems will go away if something else in your outer
world changes, you are fooling yourself big time. The desire to change
initiates from your inner world and once it occurs the perfect help
and support seems to magically materialize in your outer world.
Weight serves as a protection, so examine those old memories and
the power you have given them. Many women connect attractive with
vulnerability, so they protect themselves with excess weight.
Solution: Face your fears. Remold your
thought patterns and be open to a new perception of yourself that
you are powerful, and are in control of your mind. Identify with
strength and wisdom, rather than your ego. There isn’t anything
you can’t accomplish if you have the mindset to feed it.
Scenario #3:
You have an idea that keeps you awake at night and you believe it’s
"hot," but nobody is ready to fund it, so you settle and
do something else with your time. Name the obstacle here? Is it fear
of going into debt? Is it lack of confidence? What about inexperience
and lack of ability to make the proper contacts?
Lesson: If you are honest with yourself, you
know the answers to these questions. Does this idea have true merit
or is it another link in a chain of prior attempts to prove yourself
to someone? We are here to fulfill our purpose and passion
and it may involve taking risks. But we also need to be discerning
and make wise choices for our highest good.
Solution: Start by questioning your belief system
to determine if your foundational beliefs are sabotaging or supporting?
As a child, what did you hear from your parent about your ability
to succeed? How healthy is your self-esteem and confidence? If you
knew you couldn’t fail would you proceed? The answers come
best through quiet time. Ask the universe for guidance and allow
yourself to hear that still small voice. Quiet the chatter of your
mind and listen to your inner wisdom. It will dissolve obstacles
like the warmth of the sun melting a fresh layer of snow.
Scenario #4:
The relationship that you thought was "the one" has been
dissolved for some time, but you’re still holding onto making
her wrong for cheating on you. You’re not going to let her off
so easy.
Lesson: You may be using this experience to legitimize an
earlier similar experience. Be truthful now: did you ever think about
cheating on someone? Did you act on it? How about betrayal? Was
disappointment and hurt the result of someone counting on you? Would
you really like to blame another person? Mother or father, maybe?
Explore this gift that has been presented in your outer world, from
the inner world. You will unveil the gift this experience is bringing
to your life.
Solution: Be willing to take total responsibility
for your reality. This will take you out of the victim role and
into one of empowering yourself to move on. After all, who’s
really doing the suffering here? Although it may be a colossal stretch,
explore your intention for the relationship to work. There is a
concept that what we get is truly what we intend. I know, it doesn’t
feel good and makes no sense to the monkey mind, but I invite you
to entertain the thought. Just being open and aware, without judgment,
will move you into another space with regard to the pain you’re
feeling. Take quiet time and listen to your intuition. Trust the process and watch it unfold. There
is work to be done, and this is step number one, the biggest one
you’ll take in knowing yourself. Embracing the truth about
intention can be applied to every area of your life. Let the good
times roll.
As Maya Angelou said, "You can learn a lot about a person
by the way he/she handles a rainy day, lost luggage or tangled Christmas
tree lights." There is much to learn from your obstacles.
They are some of your best teachers.
So embrace your obstacles. Love and welcome them into your life—just
the way they are. Engage with them and allow them to talk to you.
Adapt and work with the conditions you are facing. Taking these
steps are signs of confidence, resilience and conviction. You are
bigger than any of your obstacles. Change old habits that no longer
serve you. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Make
your own attitude adjustments by changing your thinking and changing
your life. |
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