The Attitude Doc- Emotional Intelligence Articles


Conflict in your relationship is not merely a matter needing resolution. Realize that each challenge brings opportunity for personal growth and greater spiritual development. Interpersonal difficulties reveal a clear path to increased self-knowledge and discovery of emerging forms of communication. Once you’ve accepted your personal responsibility in the conflict’s resolution and to yourself, you’ll emerge empowered and closer to your true self.

No doubt about it, Dr. Phil has a point: we do need to get real and accept our personal responsibility in successful relationships. However, being yelled at, bullied, or insulted isn’t necessary and won’t inspire lasting change. In fact, the presence of fear and intimidation in our healing process will prohibit any positive changes from lasting and block the path to self knowledge. The components of a perfect life without the hollering are:

  • A desire for change.
  • Recognizing, understanding, and embracing the role of responsibility we each have in the success of our relationships.
  • Commitment and willingness to fully embrace our personal and spiritual growth.

Once you have decided to shift the dynamics of your life, your personal development program begins with self-examination. You must be willing to look at what is going on in your life and realize why. Notice that you are the initiator of change in your life—not Dr. Phil or anyone else. Once you have decided to embrace your personal responsibility to change your life—that you want an abundant life, quality relationships, peak health, and a lasting connection with your spiritual core—you can have it all.

A good place to begin is with your relationships. Do you have a quality relationship in your life? Are you 100-percent satisfied with the communication, sex, trust, or monetary aspects of the relationship? Are you truly fulfilled? If not, examine your beliefs about relationships: what did you learn in your early years about relationships? Did you learn it was possible to have a good relationship or have you learned and believed that most relationships end in divorce today, so yours is likely to as well? Maybe you’ve come to believe that being in a relationship makes you a complete person? Are you resisting something in the relationship?

The imprint from your earliest spiritual and personal development is determining the quality of your relationships today. Maybe your sex life suffers, communication is only confrontational, he spends too much time with his friends, or his drinking has become a drag. The impact of your beliefs can be discovered in every area of your life. As you explore and change your outgrown beliefs, you are taking responsibility for your life and its outcome.

Quit subjecting yourself to verbal and passive abuse! Get real in your own and constructive way. It’s a path with a guaranteed positive outcome. Stick with it because you are worth it! A sustained commitment to personal growth brings the most fulfilling results.