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If you believe you’ve found your soul mate, but still feel unfulfilled, chances are that you aren’t confident enough to share your authentic self in the relationship. And if you want to be deeply loved and cultivate closeness, you must learn to trust your instincts. This is the only path to the level of trusting in a relationship that will allow you to cultivate the best in each other and enjoy fulfilling intimate time with your partner. Let go of the low self-esteem that’s holding you back and fall absolutely in love! We all want to be loved for who we are. But how can we get that if low self-esteem makes us uncomfortable being who we are? To find fulfillment and cultivate closeness with your soul mate, you must feel safe to share your authentic self in the relationship. In other words, the relationship must be built on trust. How does one become trusting in a relationship? First, you must build beliefs and practices that allow you to trust yourself. This attitude adjustment is accomplished by learning to trust your instincts and feelings. If a situation happens in your relationship that makes you feel uncomfortable (and it most likely will), recognize it! Then take the steps to communicate this to your partner. If this is difficult for you, ask yourself why. Perhaps you were never allowed to express your true feelings as a child and, even though you want to be deeply loved, you are carrying beliefs such as “Nothing I say is important,” or “My feelings don’t count for anything.” On a separate note, perhaps your current partner isn’t there for you emotionally and doesn’t take the time to listen. This certainly would create some insecurity in the relationship. It is important to look at it from all angles with the reminder that your feelings are your guide and your friend. Perhaps you worry about whether your partner will accept you for who you are. Again, look into the past to see if there are any clues. And when you feel ready, communicate this to your partner in a loving way. The only way to feel safe and confident is to start feeling safe and confident in the little ways. In other words, one must become vulnerable and test the trustworthiness of the partner in order to cultivate feelings of security. If you want to be deeply loved, you must trust your instincts and share your authentic self. It can be an amazing process and once it begins, it grows and grows gloriously as you cultivate the best in each other. When one of the participants in the relationship opens up, the other usually does, and vice versa. The comfort level rises to new and wonderful heights and enhances your intimate time with your partner.
Would you like to explore more powerful emotions that affect your life? Check out The Attitude Doc’s book Attitudes, Beliefs and Choices. |