The Attitude Doc- Relationship Articles


It may sound shocking, but the truth is that what you believe may be ruining your relationships. At the very least, unconscious beliefs are determining the quality and course of your life. How did this potentially destructive pattern develop? It began in childhood when you heard adults make statements that you were too young to rationalize. You then unconsciously adopted these statements as absolute truths. It may have been hearing your mom relay that men were lazy or you couldn’t trust a man when she talked about your cheating father. Maybe your beliefs are imprinted with the idea that unwed sex destines you to hell; that divorce is an unpardonable sin, or a woman should stay in denial and put up with a cheating husband. Did you learn that boys who cry are sissies; the rich get richer and the poor stay poor; that women will never earn what men do; or even something as silly as the color red making you look fat? How about red lipstick is for hussies; you’re not smart enough to go to college; you’ll never be as good at soccer as your brother, or that dating is only for the young.

The list of beliefs you’ve unconsciously carried forward is endless, and many are simply not true. Yet, we continue to be motivated and influenced by superficial and unexplored beliefs. Some of them offer direction, but many are the perception of life from an outside source. They are passed down to us as “truisms” to become the pattern that sabotages our happiness, self-confidence, and success in dating, marriage, income and even our health.

Here’s the hope. You can change your beliefs. Just because you heard something from an authority figure that has stuck with you all of your life, does not imply you must keep that belief as your own. In fact, as long as you hold onto the beliefs that limit your potential and goals, you are bound to a cycle of failure. Just like inheriting a box of plastic dishes that you’ll never use and eventually give away, you can release yourself from the beliefs that have misguided and inhibited you for too long. So, whether your relationships fail because you keep drawing the same type of man into your life to love; you’ve given up getting into shape because you believe excess pounds are hereditary, and you no longer trust Atkins to guide you; your bank balance is always showing red, because you’re a single parent and women can’t earn what men do, you can turn those beliefs around and form your own new and supportive beliefs, better suited to your needs, desires and future goals. The process will let you reap the good fortune in life that you deserve!

Six Keys to Changing Your Beliefs:

  1. Acknowledge the problem area in your life, e.g. relationships, money, career, etc.
  2. Identify the sabotaging belief about that problem. One way to accomplish this is to put the issue at the top of a page and list everything that comes to your mind below it.
  3. Accept that the belief doesn’t benefit you.
  4. Realize you have the right and responsibility to change the belief.
  5. Choose a belief that supports you and your goals.
  6. Live by that belief (Your belief!).

This sounds like an enormous task, but it’s absolutely within reach—closer than you think. Look at your life: are you satisfied with your income, your body, your relationships, sex life, or your career? Can you stand right up and say, “I love myself and my life!” Most of us have at least one area of our lives that is out of balance, unsatisfying and continues to cause us emotional distress. Start there and find the underlying cause of the belief that is sabotaging your happiness and success, and work your way through the rest. Like peeling the layers of an onion, do it one belief at a time. Consider joining The Attitude Doc for a one-on-one session to discover the underlying cause of your belief pool! She has the gift of taking you right to the source of your issues and you won’t spend a year on a shrink’s couch never discovering the solution. If you’d like to make the changes, but want to do it on your own, consider The Attitude Doc’s 21-Day Course. You’ll discover more about yourself in 21 days than you ever dreamed possible. While you may laugh at some of the beliefs you will reveal and be shocked by others, deep at the heart of it all, you’ll discover your authentic self, the self that deserves and enjoys all of the successes and happiness the universe has to offer. Make your life’s journey a fantastic adventure by learning how self-exploration and discovery will create a world we can all share and enjoy.