The Attitude Doc- Senior Dating & Vibrancy Articles

Is the experience of a new grandbaby current, a past memory or maybe it’s non-existent? What about reflecting on giving birth to a child of your own? Surely you’ve paid visits to friends. We have three tools to add to the toolbox of thriving in 2005, by learning from new life. New life and miracles are synonymous. The entire nine-month process of gestation in itself is profound, let alone the actual act of childbirth and all its wonder. Then once that sweet soul arrives home, a new chapter begins with all the lessons a grandparent, parent, family and friends can benefit from, if open to receive them.

The definition of nurture in the computer dictionary is “to give tender care and protection to a child, a young animal or a plant, helping it to grow and develop.” Nurture also means, “to encourage somebody or something to grow, develop, thrive and be successful.” It is interesting to note the absence of nurturing one self as part of the definition.

A new relationship is in the making when a newborn comes into a family. A vital form of nurturing is through food. The infant requires total focus and attention in each moment. Are they getting enough of the formula? Is it coming too fast or too slow? Is she frantic or more relaxed while suckling? All our attention is centered on providing the baby with satisfying her needs.

Tool #1: What about your current relationship? Are you giving it the focus, time and attention it needs? Whether it’s with a mate, child, parent, friend, partner, sibling or yourself—if it’s important to you, it deserves attention. This may necessitate you taking care of yourself, through whatever means you feel nurtured. You warrant the focus and attention to nurture yourself through quiet time, healthy meals, creative and passionate expression, whatever speaks to the yearning of your soul. In addition, it is important to take the time to feed the loved ones that are meaningful in your life. A wise suggestion from centenarians (those folks that have been on the planet for over 100 years), is to never take someone for granted. We never know when we say good-bye if it’s for the last time.

Tool #2: Adjusting to a new baby is constantly incorporating the “what works, what doesn’t work” theory. Always looking for a more productive and effective way of running a tight ship for the purpose of serving the needs of the baby is always the priority. Organizing the feeding station so it works efficiently as well as realizing that having well-meaning friends and family over during the evenings is something that doesn’t work. With the adjustments comes the “C” word. Charles Darwin said it best, “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”

Are you making the necessary changes to allow your relationship to flow more gently and effortlessly? Or are you assuming that eventually the other person will accommodate you and your desires? If you’re waiting for someone else to change, you’re looking at a red flag—a blatant sign and demand for introspection. Open up the dialogue, expressing your needs, communicating with intention and clarity, and be willing to keep on keeping on until you have reached an understanding. Once the habit is acquired, you never go back to the old way. You experience what works and what doesn’t.

Tool #3: Lastly, the world would be a more peaceful place to inhabit if we all could see in our relationships what we intuitively sense as we gaze at new life. What would that be for you? It could be called innocence, beauty, perfection, wisdom, peace and the presence of a soul—the essence—creative intelligence—force behind the cosmos—that which exists in each of us, regardless of shape, size, color, height, religious or sexual preferences. Know that soul has its own purpose, journey, and gifts to discover in this lifetime and trust the process. Just imagine what life would be like if each of us brought this new life—this new perspective—to our relationships.

As the last of these summer months unfold, you are encouraged to take responsibility for the quality of your relationships, including the one with yourself. Start now with a phone call to that special someone, a lunch date or a walk through nature just being real, using your new tools of focus and attention, being open to change and honoring the soul towards each member of your global family.