The Attitude Doc- Weekly Life Change Lessons

Next month this doc will be off on an adventure to participate in a workshop in Las Alturas, Costa Rica for the purpose of helping local villagers cultivate beauty and become empowered through a unique and bonding experience. Women from North and South America will come together to build a “cottage,” under the expertise of Becky Bee, cob homebuilder extraordinaire.

There is a saying, “You never know what goes on behind the closed front door of a house.” Whether it is a cob home, built of sand and clay, a log cabin layered from properly weathered logs, a stucco and tile whitewashed home typical for Greece, a palapa, an open sided shelter characteristic of the tropics, a healthy home made of non-toxic products, or a twenty thousand square foot estate featured in Architectural Digest, the question of what transpires behind that door is what this life change lesson will address as we celebrate Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

Many folks seem to don a mask for the public until they close that front door when they seem to show their “true colors.” Everyone is convinced they are a happily married couple, enjoying the fruits of their labor as they walk off into the sunset after years of married life. However, too many days are spent where unkind words have been exchanged and the lack of mutual respect has deepened over time. As they enter the winter of their lives the realization that their days are numbered seems to shake up the portrayed image. What is this couple missing that could turn their life around? What could they let go of that would motivate a desire to choose to be happy, today and each day they awake to greet the morn?

Another example comes from more client histories than I can single out but it pertains to the similar experiences they’d shared about how they could feel the energy shift when their husband would come home from work. “Shhhh, Daddy’s home. We don’t want to upset him and make him angry, so behave yourself.” Does a child anticipate love and joy when they know their Daddy’s coming home, or fear of doing that one thing wrong that could take him over the edge?

Of course you are entitled to come home from work feeling worked and weary, but do you dramatize it because of an undercurrent that reeks of resentment and unhappiness or do you responsibly process and move through your feelings to then be present for your family? What do you bring into your home when you turn the doorknob? Maybe it’s the stillness that awaits you, the sound of the ocean in the background, or a pet, partner or your family. What vibes do you disperse into the walls, furniture, bedding or utensils? You may laugh but energy is transferred. Sensitive people who enter the room I use exclusively for meditation can feel the energy. You no doubt have walked into a room and felt an unsettled feeling, or entered into a meeting only to feel the tension. Everything is energy.

If you live in a mansion, middle suburbia or one made of cob, if there is love in your home you are rich. On the other hand, if you live under a roof where stress predominates, or the lack of joy, laughter, gratitude or peace, you are poor no matter how many zeros follow a number in your bank accounts. This abode is merely a “house,” a place of shelter, not a “home,” which is composed of warmth, nurturing, kindness, respect, grace, compassion, joy and love. There is an enormous difference between the two.

I close with a story about my two-year old granddaughter who started to cry, fuss and whine in preparation for bed after a tiring day of play and fun. Big sister Alissa professed her wisdom by asking, “Do you want to do it the easy way or the hard way?” Through her tears, Corianna yawned and said, “Easy.” I helped her nuzzle into her sleeping bag, stroked her hair and hummed gently while she fell fast asleep in moments. At two, she chose. At two, she is on her way to being self-empowered if she continues to receive this kind of loving support from her family. At any age, you too can choose to bring love into your home. It starts with learning to love you self. When you grasp the knowledge that you are love, that energy will radiate through you and anyone who steps through that beam of light will feel it and respond to it. It can change the world. It will change the world when we all recognize this truth.

Today and every day I consciously radiate love to every corner of my home, which is felt and appreciated by those who share this sacred space. I give thanks for every experience, painful as well as pleasurable, easy as well as hard, that have contributed to this transformation. As I celebrate Valentine’s Day I honor myself as a beacon of Light knowing the true source of my existence as Love.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.


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Any advice contained herein or from The Attitude Doc, Alexandra Delis-Abrams, Ph.D., represents the opinions of same, the author/owner of the website, and is intended for the purposes of encouraging self-exploration and personal evolution. The Attitude Doc website, Alexandra Delis-Abrams, Ph.D., articles, and any information contained herein, should be considered supplementary to and not a substitute for advice you may have received from another professional.